THE SPANKING
Synopsis
The Shoe Thieves strike first, but the Lovers spank the Shoe Thieves with 6 runs in the fourth and another 6 runs in the fifth, ultimately winning by 14 runs in an epic 20-6 blowout.
It is reported that at some point during the ninth inning Shoe Thieves pitcher Beasley Gloom broke down and uttered the Lovers' safety word aloud, leading the Lovers to promptly wrap up the game. After the game the Lovers visited the Shoe Thieves' locker room to help ice their muscles, apply soothing balm to their bruises, and give them aromatherapy massages. Both teams issued press releases later clarifying that The Spanking was consensual for both teams involved.
Game Summary
Game ID: 7e23e6d3-911e-45a6-87d2-3a2efbcbae6f
Season 3 Day 103:
San Francisco Lovers @ Charleston Shoe Thieves
Choux Stadium, Charleston
Weather: Lots of Birds
| R | H | E | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Lovers | 20 | 16 | 0 |
| Shoe Thieves | 6 | 13 | 0 |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | R | H | E | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lovers | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 20 | 16 | 0 |
| Shoe Thieves | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 13 | 0 |
| Pitching Summary |
|---|
| Winning Pitcher: Parker Meng KK: 4 BB: 1 |
| Losing Pitcher: Beasley Gloom KK: 1 BB: 12 |
| Team Summary: Lovers |
|---|
| Batting: |
| RBI: 20 HR: Helga Burton (2), Kichiro Guerra (1), Kennedy Meh (1) 3B: Helga Moreno (1), Kichiro Guerra (1) 1B: Theo King (2), Sigmund Castillo (2), Knight Urlacher (2) BB: Helga Moreno (3), Don Mitchell (2), Theo King (2) SAC: Helga Burton (1) LOB: 9 |
| Team Summary: Shoe Thieves |
|---|
| Batting: |
| RBI: 6 3B: Stu Trololol (1), Blood Hamburger (1) 2B: Stu Trololol (1) 1B: Sebastian Woodman (3), Ren Hunter (2), Workman Gloom (2) SAC: Sebastian Woodman (1), Esme Ramsey (1) LOB: 4 |
Game Gems
Game ID: 7e23e6d3-911e-45a6-87d2-3a2efbcbae6f
Season 3 Day 103:
San Francisco Lovers @ Charleston Shoe Thieves
Choux Stadium, Charleston
Weather: Lots of Birds
| R | H | E | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Lovers | 20 | 16 | 0 |
| Shoe Thieves | 6 | 12 | 0 |
Blaseball Game Gems:
- Helga Burton (Lovers) hit 2 home runs!
- The Shoe Thieves got 12 hits!
- The Lovers got 16 hits!
- The Shoe Thieves and Lovers combined for 28 hits!
- Parker Meng (Lovers) allowed just 1 walk against the Shoe Thieves.
- Beasley Gloom (Shoe Thieves) allowed a whopping 12 walks against the Lovers.